I guess I am stressed about this wedding. I just got bridezillan on Kinkos’ ass. They were supposed to have my programs, menu cards, and other things ready today, but they completely messed up my order. They ignored 90% of the order, and made a mistake on the 10% that they did choose to print. So I had to reorder everything. They said it wouldn’t be done until Tuesday, which upset me, because we’re leaving Wednesday morning and I’ll have other things to do that day. Tonight was reserved in my schedule as Program Assembly Night.
Long story short, they were snotty to me, but agreed to have everything finished by Saturday at 3. That will work out fine with me.
Ordinarily such things wouldn’t bother me. I think my inner anxiety about the wedding decided to manifest itself today. Right now I’m feeling angry and jittery. I need to go relax somehow, but I have work to do.
In my defense, it has been really difficult to plan a wedding on a different continent. We’re even getting married in a small town where many people don’t have internet access, so I haven’t even had the web or email to help me out with everything. On top of that, we’ve had cultural clashes that definitely complicated matters. But somehow I have managed to pull it all off. The wedding will happen, and I think it will be beautiful.
Side note:
My mother just called from her car. She just bought a new CD of some Italian singers that Oprah recommended, and she was giddy about it. She held the phone up to her car speakers for the entire duration of “Unchained Melody” in Italian. She thought I had to hear it. The song was lovely, but what really made me smile was my mother and her goofiness. Afterward I told her that she couldn’t have called at a better time. I’m feeling much better now. 
I had a bizarre afternoon. On my way home from Kinkos (and yes, I brought the dog), I witnessed a car accident. An RV ran a stop sign and hit a little sedan. Thank god it wasn’t a severe crash, because there were two small children in the backseat of the sedan. I parked my car so I could give an eye witness statement to the police.
The driver of the sedan was hysterical and her two little kids were sobbing. The kids seemed to be unharmed, thank god, but their mom appeared to have an injured neck or back. The RV hit the front driver side, so she was affected most. She wasn’t in any shape to help her kids out of the car, and she didn’t want them to go anywhere until her sister arrived, but it was 91 degrees outside. Way too hot for anyone to sit inside a parked car. So I sprinted to a nearby liquor store and bought all of them cold bottles of water. The children chugged that water.
The sister/aunt arrived shortly thereafter and took care of the kids. I gave her my name and number, and then rushed off to my car to take care of my own kid. Little Ally Dog was so hot in the backseat! I gave her a cold bottle of water, too, and took her outside in the shade. Then we sat and waited for the police to arrive.
The paramedics came, and took the driver away on a stretcher. I don’t really know what her injuries were; I was trying to stay out of the way as much as possible. But her sister took the two kids and her own daughter to sit in the shade. They were so grateful to me for waiting.
And waiting. And waiting. We had to call the police four times, because they just weren’t getting there. In the meanwhile, I befriended a homeless lady named Fire who lives in her car at that intersection. She had a couple folding chairs in her car, and offered me one. She had a dog, too, and our doggies became friends.
Then another relative of the accident victim arrived with their tiny puppy. All together there were several adult relatives, three kids, me, Fire, three dogs, and a decent breeze. And a loooooong wait. The family in the RV stayed inside their vehicle.
Can you freaking believe that it took an hour and a half for the cops to arrive?! Apparently the problem was that the accident occurred near the border between Colorado Springs and Manitou Springs, so the cops didn’t know which squad to send. So they didn’t send anyone! We had to call four times before anyone showed up. On the third call, the police told us that they couldn’t help us if we didn’t know the zip code of the intersection. Give me a damn break. Thank god for my trusty T-Mobile Sidekick, because I Googled the motel across the street and was able to get a zip code. The police used that zip code to decide which cop to send. What little buggers.
Finally a police officer came, and I gave him a written statement. The victim’s husband was so grateful to me that he actually offered to take Mike and me out for a beer to say thanks. It thought that was nice. I just told him to pay it forward.
Now Ally and I are home, and it’s hot. I might crack open a cold alcoholic beverage. After all, it’s 5:00 somewhere.
My dog is looking up at me all adorably. This is what she is saying to me right now:
“Please please take me to Kinkos with you. I don’t care that it’s 90 degrees and therefore too hot for a dog to wait in the car. I’ll try very hard not to bake. I just want to go with you so bad. I love the Kinkos parking lot. Take me. I promise not to chew up your seat belts this time. Pretty please. Just look how cute I am. You know you can’t say no to this face.”
The sad thing is that I’m actually trying to figure how if there is a shady place outside of the Kinkos where I could tie her up while I’m inside. I’m such a pathetic pushover.
Random post:
1. I hate making phone calls. I don’t know why. My job is all about customer service, so I have to call people a lot, so I’m trying to get over my little phobia. Today I had to make a lot of calls for my wedding planning–the florist, registrar, salon, and house sitter–and I did everything I could to procrastinate. I cleaned the kitchen. I made a double latte. I surfed the entire internets, all of them. I even watched CNN, trying to convince myself that news is important and I should watch it. But now I’ve made most of my calls, and it feels good to check those things off my to-do list. Everytime I finish a phone call, I always say to myself, “Hmm, that wasn’t so bad after all.”
2. It’s weird to be getting married and have a new present on my doorstep every day. I still can’t believe that we get to keep all this stuff. Yesterday we got a set of gorgeous silver candlesticks. The day before it was a fondue maker. Last night Mike and I drank both red and white wine, because dear Christy sent us both kinds of glasses, and we could. Right now I’m jacked up on espresso, courtesy of my aunt’s cappucino maker. I would be totally elated with all these presents, but somehow I feel that I don’t deserve them. I haven’t done anything to make me worthy of such beautiful gifts. I feel like I need to do a lot of really nice things to return the favor.
3. Our Animal Mover thinks that he has trapped and removed all our skunks. He got the mama and five babies. I swear I counted eight babies last week.
4. We leave for England in 6 days.
We got our rings today.
His is platinum, and mine is white gold, with 5 diamonds totaling 1/2 carat. I love them so much! I wish I could wear my ring right now. But I have only two and a half weeks to wait. It will go so fast, I’m sure!
I just got some pictures from my friend Kathy. Here are a few more from the bachelorette party!
A perfect dinner on the rooftop at Perry’s in Adams Morgan.
Receiving my to-do list.
Kimberly, Heather, Laura, Sarah, Char
Mel, Meg, Kim, Kathy
Off to the bars!
I remember telling people that Usher’s “Yeah” is the best song ever written.
We got tattoos! That was fun to discover the next morning. 
Thank god they were spray-on. 
With Sarah, my lovely maid of honor. I get a little affectionate after a shot or two.
Looking sheepish. Uh oh… what had I done.
I have a few pictures from the bachelorette party. I haven’t seen my friends’ pictures yet (probably better that way!), but I have a few that my mother took before I left for the party.
Look how well-groomed and sober I am! That didn’t last long.
With my cousin, Heather!
A lot of my friends are graphic designers, and three of them designed my requisite bachelorette party to-do list. This was the front of the card. Recognize the picture? Note the American Idol logo, too. They did such a great job!
Here was my to-do list! During dinner, they added “Dance on the bar,” and something else that I don’t remember. At everyone else’s bachelorette parties, I was always the first finish the to-do list contests. At my own party, though, I got too drunk to remember to do almost all of these things! 
From a cell phone, during the party. Note the veil, boa, and plastic feathery red purse.
Mike made the first of our honeymoon reservations last night! In three weeks from today, we’re going to…
… VENICE!!!
We’ll be here for two nights:
http://www.veniceby.com/residenzacannaregio/index.html
Afterward I’m not sure what we’re going to do. Mike is planning it! We might rent a car and drive along the Italian and French coasts. We might take a flight to Barcelona. We might go up into the Alps. I don’t know, but anything will be perfect, and I can’t wait.
Last night was my fabulous bachelorette party in the Adams Morgan neighborhood in DC. I had a great time, but I do seem to have lost more than my fair share of brain cells. I have been a sluggish, braindead zombie all day today. I guess that means it was a successful party.
We got dressed up, ate sushi on a rooftop patio on a beautiful night, drank wine, met firemen, drank martinis, drank shots, drank more shots, got temporary tattoos, drank a few more shots, danced on the bar, ate falafel, salsa danced, and god knows what else. They gave me a veil, boa, feathery plastic purse, two very trashy thongs, and a to-do list with all sorts of things that I got too drunk to do. I don’t drink much, so I got drunk fast. My friends told me today that I face-planted into the falafel. They had to remove ketchup from my hair. Nice.
It was a great time. I loved celebrating with my girlfriends, all of whom I love so much. I really wish I had avoided the shots. Also, I don’t know what falafel is.
I don’t have any pictures, yet, but when I get them from my friends, I *might* post some if I approve of their public viewing.
My two-year-old niece received her flower girl dress in the mail this weekend, and she LOVED it! My sister-in-law says that she was completely thrilled to be wearing it, and twirled around the living room in it. I’m so happy that she liked it so much! She’s such a little girly girl! She’s going to be adorable as a flower girl.
(Picture taken by my sister-in-law)
Look at that smile! She’s so cute!
20 days and counting!
